japonisme: title

18 September 2011

title









i have to go into the hospital tomorrow and i'm scared.

i had a heart attack ten years ago, and apparently the stents need to be replaced.


i have recently been feeling poorly, so they did these big fancy tests on me and that's what they found.



i had this best friend for about 25 years, but a couple of years ago we drifted apart. but amazingly, we just became friends again, and she's going to drive me to and pick me up from the hospital. strange how these things happen.

i have to go in tomorrow, monday, at noon, for a procedure at 2:30pm. they don't put you completely asleep so you're aware of what's going on, and will remember it.

supposedly, if they turn out not to need replacing anything (they won't), i can go home later that same day, tomorrow night. as deeply as i wish to do that, i guess i more hope that they can fix me.

but this is the first night i will not sleep with ruby since we've been together, almost 5 years.

it's no accident that my anniversaries with both ruby and this blog are so close to the same amount of time. some part of my beginning it at about that time was because robert -- my cat before ruby -- had begun to die. and ruby came very shortly after he did.

but the hardest part of ten years ago was being away from home, from my garden, from my cat.

if i come back from this time feeling better,
maybe it will be a healing experience.

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19 Comments:

Anonymous Ken Smith said...

With best wishes for a successful procedure and a safe return home. I'll be thinking of you.

An Australian friend.

18 September, 2011 16:58  
Blogger lotusgreen said...

ohhh... thank you ken.

18 September, 2011 17:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope all goes well, Lily.

Charles

18 September, 2011 19:28  
Blogger lotusgreen said...

thank you very much, charles.

18 September, 2011 20:32  
Blogger Gerrie said...

My thoughts are with you today, I'm confident all goes well Lily.

18 September, 2011 22:35  
Anonymous evan said...

It just wouldn't be me if I weren't a smartass...returning from the hospital a healing experience...Well, yes. I know the anesthesia of which you speak- Twilight. Hopefully you wony dream of angsty horny vampires & vampire wanna-bes. Good luck. ever had Twilight sleep? The best thing about it is coming out of it- awake, no barfing.
I have bone spur under my left clavical that needs to come out...not major...still...hesitating like crazy. Realized the loss of my immortality when I was 16. "There can only be one". Pretty sure it ain't me.

19 September, 2011 00:03  
Anonymous Lilien said...

Best wishes and hope all goes well, and your recovery is swift and successfull, so you are back on our screens soon!

Juergen (a regular reader of your blog)

19 September, 2011 02:15  
Blogger lotusgreen said...

thanks you, gerrie.

even -- i don't know what to say!

and thanks to you as well, juergen.

19 September, 2011 06:53  
Anonymous evan said...

hopefully all went well...I feel like I should apologize for my last note- it appears I missed the mold growing on the sausage I had for dinner. My bizarre point is, in the face of surgery & things like surgery, we surrender ourselves to the process & are quite helpless once the anesthesia has been administered. I find humor laughing at a situation takes away its "power". Of course, there's the small issue of what passes for humor for me...

19 September, 2011 13:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope everything is okay with you by now.
Σε περιμένουμε με μεγάλη αγωνία. Σιδερένια να είσαι. δ

20 September, 2011 09:44  
Blogger lotusgreen said...

yes, i'm back home. and here is a man who can care about me when his streets may be falling.

φιλί φιλί φιλί

20 September, 2011 13:39  
Anonymous evan said...

glad you're home, safe 'n sound.

20 September, 2011 23:49  
Blogger lotusgreen said...

thank you evan -- me too.

and i'm sorry i called you even, since everyone knows that you're odd. ;^)

21 September, 2011 07:07  
Blogger namastenancy said...

I don't read your blog every day (me bad) so I am reading this after you've had your surgery. But I am sending light and healing and positive energy over the bay, for yesterday, today and all your tomorrows.

21 September, 2011 10:56  
Blogger lotusgreen said...

thank you, nancy -- i can feel it from here.

21 September, 2011 11:59  
Blogger balsamfir said...

Way behind on reading, and glad to here you're home with energy to post. Be well and hope the procedure works.

23 September, 2011 14:36  
Blogger lotusgreen said...

thank you, dear.

23 September, 2011 16:02  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My best wishes.

Euan
(Scotland)

28 September, 2011 17:40  
Blogger lotusgreen said...

thank you, euan-- that's very kind

28 September, 2011 18:09  

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