japonisme: will you still love me?

30 September 2011

will you still love me?


The loop of rusty cable incises
its shadow on the stucco wall.
My father smiles shyly and takes
one of my cigarettes, holding it

awkwardly at first,
as if it were
a dart, while the yard slowly
swings across the wide sill
of daylight.
Then it is a young man’s
quick hand

that rises to his lips, he leans against the wall,
his white shirt open at the throat,
where the skin is weathered, and
he chats and
something he never does.
Smoking his cigarette,
he is even
younger than I am,
a brother who
begins to guess,
amazed, that what
he will do will turn out
to be this.

He recalls the house
he had
when I was born, leaning against it
now after work, the pale stucco
of memory, 1947.

Baby bottles stand near the sink inside.
The new wire of the telephone, dozing
in a coil, waits for the first call.

The years are smoke.

Reginald Gibbons (also born 1947
“Luckies” from The Ruined Motel. Copyright © 1981 by
Reginald Gibbons. All rights reserved.

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Anonymous evan said...

Circumstances brought me back to the house I grew up in. Sadder circumstances- now I own the place. When I was 13, fresh from "2001: A Space Odyssey", the age I am now was unimaginable. Now, I'm a deep breath away from 56. I stand on my driveway in the evening & the ghost of myself at 17 wonders what the night will bring. I think I know as well as anybody else could know, what it is to be beside one's self.

Our historys are weird...as the song goes- "What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here..." Of course, I have no sense that I belong anywhere else, either.

Not exactly on topic...close enough:)

30 September, 2011 10:00  
Blogger lotusgreen said...

i just noticed/realised something this morning. as you say, there's a disconnect. i'm going along being me (and given that i've had few of the regular events/contexts that gives one's self-concept an age), as various things work differently than they used to, lose a little hearing, say, i can accept it and gaze oddly at it at the same time.

30 September, 2011 11:54  

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hi, and thanks so much for stopping by. i spend all too much time thinking my own thoughts about this stuff, so please tell me yours. i thrive on the exchange!

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